The Rebirth and Redeath of Boredom
by SiFi270
Summary: A few years after The End of Boredom 1, Andrew Hussie and Lauren Faust have the most adorable baby ever. Everything's going just fine, until Doc Scratch shows up out of nowhere and kidnaps the baby just for the sake of being a jerk.


One day Andrew Hussie and Lauren Faust had the most adorable baby ever. Her name was Casey Blossom Faust Hussie, but friends called her Caussie or sometimes Blaussie. She could switch between two forms, alicorn and hero mode, and NO SHE ISN'T A MARY SUE.

...Okay, so she kind of is, but... Hear me out on this, ok?

When Caussie was only five years old, she found herself in a situation that most children her age wouldn't dream of. While her parents weren't looking, a four foot tall asshole in suspenders appeared in front of her, and before she could make the smallest sound, he plucked her from the floor, eliciting a small 'eek!'

"What the..." Andrew quickly turned around, his eyes narrowing the moment he realized what was going on. "Scratch! What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm simply restoring balance to the universe." he said. "When you killed my master and his accomplice, you eliminated two of the most important forces in this universe: Chaos and boredom. If the status quo is ever to be restored, someone must take their place. And there's only one being in this multiverse with the potential to become that powerful."

"Most of that," Andrew said, "is complete bullshit."

"It is." Scratch agreed. "But I'm still taking the child."

Lauren Faust leapt forward and Sonic Rainboomed towards him, destroying most of her house in the process. However, as soon as Caussie was within her reach, Doc Scratch disappeared, taking the child with him as promised.

"Damn it!" She stomped a hoof against the ground in frustration. "Andrew, you know him better than I do... What are our options?"

"Well..." He placed a hand to his chin. "With the resources we have at our disposal, getting to the Felt Manor shouldn't be too much of a problem. And when I get close enough to him, he just kind of stops living. But knowing him..." He sighed. "...He's probably planned around all of this somehow. He's almost certain to have a trap waiting for us, and the only way to find out what it is is to walk right into it."

Lauren responded with zero hesitation. "I'm going to risk it, for Casey. Get on my back."

So he got on her back and they did the Back to the Future thing from the first part you all loved so much. It was pretty great.

* * *

Years in the future, but not many, Andrew and Lauren arrived at the Felt Manor. Immediately, both knew that something was wrong, but only Andrew was able to put his finger on it, for more reasons than one.

"Usually, the entrance is on fire..." he noted. "You can't begin a Felt Manor adventure if the entrance isn't on fire. Also, this place has one thousand and one clocks, and I can't hear a single one of them ticking."

"Neither of those can mean anything major." Lauren said. "If I had to guess, I'd say this is a ruse to distact us from something genuinely suspicious. Something like a particularly large henchman..."

"Oh yeah!"

"...sneaking up behind us." She finished, slowly turning around to find a particularly large henchman sneaking up behind them.

"I swear," Andrew said, "If that's Cans, I'm going to..." He turned around, his voice turning to a whimper by the time he'd finished. "...It's Cans."

"Oh yeah!" Cans repeated, literally clocking them into next week.

Okay I lied. He clocked them much further than that.

* * *

Years in the future, and yes, _many_, Alternia was in ruins. This also happened to be when Andrew and Lauren arrived, raising the universe's population from a handful to a handful plus two.

"Shit..." Andrew rubbed his aching head. "...I didn't even know he could clock people that far... When the hell are we, anyway?"

"This is strangely reminiscent of an episode of The Powerpuff Girls..." Lauren noted. "If this is anything like..." She instantly began to panic. "...Casey!"

"Casey!" Andrew repeated, running back to the Felt Manor and tearing off the front door with his bare hands. "Casey! I swear, if any of you green assholes have laid a finger on her, I'll tear..."

"Mother!"

Andrew was filled with hope upon realizing that the voice could belong to an older Caussie, but when he turned around, he was met with the sight of a significantly weaker Princess Celestia.

"Tia?" Lauren's heart sank. "Tia, what happened? Where is everyone?"

"You've been gone for five hundred years now..." the princess said. "Using the same magic that turned my sister into Nightmare Moon, the Felt have raised Caussie to be the most dangerous being in the multiverse! I've tried to stop them, but..." Tears began to run down her face. "There's no one left, human, troll, or pony. The Elements of Harmony are..." She was interrupted by her own sobs. "There can't be any more..."

"That's okay." Andrew said. "I mean, it sucks that they're dead, but... Last time, me and Lauren used the Power of Love and it had the exact same effect as the Elements. And as if that wasn't enough, it was actually proven canon in the season 2 finale of Horses. So if we have _canon_ on our side, then what's stopping us from just going up there, rescuing my daughter, and tearing that cue ball-headed asshole limb from limb?"

"THE FACT THAT I AM ALREADY HERE."

Andrew turned around yet again and got kind of dizzy, but managed to stay on his feet nonetheless. This time, he knew for a fact that this was an older version of Caussie looming over him with a Lord Englishesque physique, which was just about as reassuring as you'd expect.

"I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU BOTH," she bellowed, "MY PITIFUL EXCUSES FOR PARENTS."

"Casey, we can solve this." Lauren said. "We're willing to listen to you so long you're willing to listen to us."

"LISTEN TO _THIS_." She slammed her hands against the ground, causing reality to shatter. Immediately, dimensions mixed together like water and oil, and the universe turned into something that looked like a collage made by Discord.

"This is not looking good..." Andrew muttered. "This is not looking..." Something suddenly caught his eye. "This is not looking good in the best possible way! It's Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, with their new best friend, Geromy! And those are..." He gasped like a child opening a birthday present. "...The dinosaurs from Dinosaur Comics! Princess Celestia, meet the new Elements of Harmony! All together now, everyone!"

"Loyalty!" said T-rex.

"l**AU**Gter... … ." said Hella Jeff.

"Generosity!" said Dromiceiomimus.

"Honesty!" said Utahraptor.

Geromy was kindness.

"aand MOGIC makes it _all_ COM**PLATE**... …. …" Sweet Bro finished triumphantly.

"THIS IS..." Caussie struggled to stay stable. "I fEeL..."

"It's not enough!" Celestia cried. "We need something more heartstring-pulling! This girl needs her parents, damn it!"

"Coming right up!" Lauren ran over to her daughter, grabbing Andrew and dragging him with her in the process. At the last moment, she switched her facial expression from a confident mask to the true desperation that lay beneath. "Casey... There comes a time in everyone's childhood when their parents have to tell them: _Please_, don't destroy the multiverse. We care about you, Casey. Please, come back to us."

"I got a present for you, Casey." Andrew added, producing a stuffed bunny from his Sylladex. "It's a little dirty..." He began to tear up. "A LITTLE ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES... JUST LIKE YOUR OLD EX-CON DAD... _WITH A HEART OF GOLD_."

Although Caussie remained silent, it was clear that, on the inside, she was fighting something. Something immensely powerful, that would take over her mind all over again if she let guard down for just a moment. Finally she surrendered to overwhelming emotions, and the Nightmare could be seen leaving her body.

"Mama... Papa..." She gasped. "I... I can fix this... I can undo everything... But no one will remember what happened."

"Well, from a storytelling standpoint, that's kind of disappointing." Andrew said. "But it's pretty obvious this needs to be fixed. Go ahead, Casey. Take us there."

Caussie nodded and opened her arms invitingly, gathering her parents and half sister into the most important group hug that doomed timeline would ever see.

And with a flash of light, the nightmare was over.

* * *

Years in the present... Wait, what?

Anyway, the Faussies were back at home, Blaussie was five years old and adorable as heck, and Andrew and Lauren were voted "crossover ship of the year" and "best ship EVER" for the eighth time in a row.

So remember kids: Next year, vote Faussie for best ship EVER!

* * *

A/N: I missed two days of school to write this.


End file.
